Tip #: Pursue Your Passions
Don’t let work rule your life. Continue to pursue your passions. If you like college basketball, continue to go out to games. If you like live music, continue to go to concerts. Whatever it is you enjoy, go out and do it, and while you’re doing it, meet as many women as you possibly can.
After all, chances are there are some girls who share your passions! And what better way to start a conversation than to talk about something you both love?
The worst thing you can do is just spend all your time working and watching TV. That won’t get you anywhere. Just take action, get out of the house, and know how to start conversations with women.
When you’re able to do all that successfully, meeting girls out in the “real world” is both fun and easy.
Wishing you success,
How To Use Online Dating To Meet Women After College
Smartphones have changed how we consume the internet. It should come as no surprise that theyve also changed the world of internet dating.
Every person reading this spends an enormous amount of time on their smartphone.
Theres no reason why you cant spend five or ten minutes of your day using an app from a dating site. Finding love on todays internet is as easy as swiping from one direction to the other. Its surprising how easy online dating is made with the use of a smartphone.
His Music Brought Us Together
We met sophomore year while living across the hall in a co-ed dorm. He was always playing guitar â the same song over and over. I got so aggravated, so I put a note under his door about how terrible it was: ‘Please learn a new song!’ We dated for four years before getting married, and now, we’re coming up on 19 years.
â Brenda, 44
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Matchmaking During Institution And After School
To put it succinctly, the distinctions between institution online dating and post-college relationships are quantity of potential being sitting on your lap.
In college, youre continually seeing lessons, competitive sports, signing up for teams, and seeing frat couples and sorority couples.
You observe a large number of university students each day merely strolling through university.
Standing on campus might same in principle as living in an enormous town where people try traveling across and going into every direction.
The online dating yard after university is a lot different, which usually takes a little bit more looking to meet with promising goes.
This is also true so long as you transfer into your own little hometown.
Men and women turn to larger spots normally have more of the university sense probably after school has ended.
Matchmaking after graduation normally takes considerably attempt.
Everyone seems to be on a regular operating schedule at this juncture extremely actually basically attempting to prepare an occasion to meet and consult with someone might end up being considerably more intricate.
Exactly what it comes down to may be arranging your time with the buddies to become devote a social circumstances where you are able to satisfy others.
Commonplaces happen to be encounter upward in pubs , art galleries, guide groups, sporting events, online dating sites apps/sites, or maybe even joining nearby meetups.
How To Deepen And Cultivate Friendships
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Lets say that youve gone through Part 2, and you now would definitely call yourselves friends. How do you maintain this friendship, and how do you take it to a deeper place?
Maintaining the friendship is similar to the above section. Just keep in touch and do things together regularly. Pretty simple .
As for deepening a friendship, the key in my experience , is vulnerability.
This video from The School of Life sums up the concept nicely:
When people complain about shallow conversation, theyre usually getting at a deeper lack of vulnerability. Theyre getting at, as the video explains, people trying to seem impressive instead of revealing what theyre really like, how they really feel.
Vulnerability isnt easy. As Brené Brown puts in her TED talk The Power of Vulnerability:
in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.
This can be painful. And risky. But also tremendously rewarding. Have a look at this article for some practical ways to be more vulnerable.
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Using Social Media To Leverage Social Circle Game
While getting a girl’s number is great, swapping social media handles means they can learn more about your event, provided you take cool photos and videos of it. If its a regular event and they see that the last one was awesome, you can bet theyll be biting your hands off for an invite.
Lets say your Instagram profile has lots of videos of you partying at one of your events. There are tons of attractive women fawning over you. Perhaps there are even celebrities in attendance. In this scenario, how much attraction would you need to build when initially meeting a woman? A better strategy would be to remain 100% friendly and unthreatening, swap social media details and let your profile build attraction for you.
From there, you could begin flirtation in the DMs or invite her to your event and put the moves on there.
Its Ok To Admit Youre Still Confused About Safe Sex
Now that youâre an adult, you should know everything about the birds and the bees, right? Wrong. In fact, many 20-somethings say they never went through a sexual education class, in high school or afterward. Thatâs possibly why todayâs 20-somethings have higher rates of STIs than pretty much any other age group. Start fessing up to what you donât know, whether that means asking your doctor what itâs like to go on the Pill or looking up what the phrase âdental damâ actually means.
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Online Dating May Be Not As Bad As It Seemed To Be
Yes, picking up girls in college wasn’t hard, that’s why you never actually thought of trying it. Though, when you meet girls after college things might get harder and you start considering online dating as a good possibility to actually find your love. For example, you can try Meetville app, where you will definitely find your true soulmate.
We Were At A House Party
I met her at a Super Bowl party freshman year. One friend lived in a house, so a big group of us were so glad to get out of the dorms for a party. I got there, and there were all these women I’d not met before, so it was, like, wow!I talked to this one girl with beautiful eyes a fair amount, and she seemed to be interested in me, too. She was helping cook burgers using the broiler, and she pulled them out, spilled some grease and caught the oven on fire. So naturally, I thought, this is the woman for me!OK, so that’s the funny way I tell the tale. But she’s actually very gifted at cooking.
â Brian, 29
This article was originally published on The Southern Chic.
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The Transition: How To Get A Girlfriend
Not many guys realize how important it is to keep the progression of a relationship linear.
Generally, people dont get into relationships the first, second or even third time they meet. It takes time, and getting to know one another.
If a girl gets the sense that all you want to do is get a girlfriend now, youll scare her off and ruin your chances of starting something with her.
If anything, its best to take your time and let her feel like shes leading.
If you do things out of order, or try to rush her into a relationship, itll backfire. If you can be patient, youll eventually get the outcome youre looking fora girlfriend who youre actually compatible with.
Generally, a girl wants to feel like shes falling for someone. She rarely wants to feel like a guy cant live without her, or like hes made his entire existence about making her happy.
Girls may say they want a guy who worships them, but the reality is that they want a guy who has it together, and can be perfectly fine if things dont go well.
Its a little counterintuitive, but once you put it into practice, youll see how true it really is.
Man Up And Reject People
Because college relationships are often less serious than post-graduation partnerships, ending things can be easier. Maybe you start hooking up with someone else or maybe one person graduates. But part of creating an adult romantic life is having respect for other peopleâs feelings, even if it seems overly formal. That means actually telling them when you don’t want to go out with them again rather than simply disappearing. As Tessina says: âPlenty of people who are past school still flake out, but itâs unkind. ⦠Itâs much better to be a grownup and just say, âNo, thank you.â Then the other person is freed up to find someone else.â Look on the bright side: Rejection can actually make us better people.
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We Saved The Easiest And Best For Last: Smile
Theres no happy filter IRL. So youre gonna have to work those cheek muscles on your own. Were not saying you need to be in a good mood all the time. Thats foolish. But from the bank to the bike path, you can accidentally meet someone almost anywhere in your day to day, says Pfaff. Be open to the universe delivering to you in the least expected places, he says. When that happens, he says to put your best self forward. So the next time you spot someone who catches your fancy, try this crazy idea: Make eye contact and smile! What happens next may be even more satisfying than swiping right.
Bad Move #1 Creepy Move Showing Way Too Much Sexual Interest
If you show too much in the sack interest before you meet a girl, you will fail miserably. Girls want to feel appreciated and valued and if they think they are a short term sex object, you will never score.
Best Move Create a want in the girl first. When you do this you will be able to advance to at least second base.
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Your Best College Friend’s New Friends
Itâs always weird to make plans with someone, only to discover that they brought along a new person you don’t know at all. Like, what are they doing here with my friend, encroaching on our time?! You might feel threatened, but really, you should treat this as an opportunity to meet people, and get to know them. Usually, they’re pretty cool.
People Will Bemoan Your Ability To Date Normally
Your mom, your boss, your great-auntâs physical therapist â sometimes it seems like everyone off the market has something to say about your romantic life. These days people are usually concerned that all the kids care about is sex and that, in fact, dating is dead. Which is why, of course, you donât have an S.O. Whether or not these opinions have any basis in truth, take them with a grain of salt. The only person whose opinion really matters is yours â and if you feel like youâre doing the best you can at this dating thing, then youâre fine.
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How To Meet Women: The Cold Market
- The Cold Approach
The cold approach is termed coined from the dating advice community where you just walk up to a girl anytime, anywhere and introduce yourself. Getting good at the cold approach will open up your dating opportunities to almost anyone thats seemingly approachable. You can choose to meet girls on the streets, shopping centres and just about any daily mundane social situations.
The cold approach is a skillset you need to get down. Youre not going to get good at this on your first couple of tries. This requires practice. Cold approaching is difficult. Youll need to understand the mechanics of starting a conversation out of nothing.
This isnt just walking up any girl, throwing up a bunch of lines and hoping for it to stick. Theres a process behind it. Heres my guide on how to approach girls.
Note for an Asian reader: Its not uncommon for Asian parents to tell you to not to talk to strangers whilst growing up. Asians are commonly stereotyped to be more conservative, shy and withdrawn. This is further re-enforced by Asian culture: talking to strangers is a weird thing. For every stereotype, theres some truth to it. When I was traveling in Western cultures such as Europe and the United States, people are a lot more socially open as compared to Asian cultures.
However, youre not limited to your culture. If you want to get good at this, screw the stereotypes and take action.
- Clubs/ Bars
She Thinks You Are Just Jumping In For A Quick Pleasure
This is a fair thought. If you make a girl think like shes another score on your wall, you need to have your butt kicked to the curb.
Shes never ever going to accept your moves unless she feels you are sincere, that shes more than an object to you.
So when you are meeting up with a girl, make sure you pay attention to her and make her feel like you are interested in her, that she has value.
If you are slider by trade that approaches multiple women at a time, youre on your own. Lie in your bed and be happy.
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Use Friend Finder Apps
There are various mobile apps nowadays, like Bumble BFF and Friender, that are made for individuals who are looking to make friends.
Theyre great if youre more introverted in nature or just moved to a new city.
Unlike regular social media apps, where it may be awkward reaching out to someone you dont know via direct messaging, these apps do all the heavy-lifting for you.
All you have to do is create a profile, add in your interests, and start swiping and viewing your potential friendship matches.
How To Make Friends With Intention
If you go looking for a friend, youre going to find theyre very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, youll find them everywhere.
Zig Ziglar
Now that weve covered why we have the friends we do, lets go out and find some. I know this may seem kind of weird. After all, friendship is one of those things society tells us should just happen naturally. Actively seeking friendship can seem unnatural.
I think, however, that being intentional about your relationships is one of the keys to a happy life. Unlike your family, you have control over who your friends are. It makes sense, then, to be deliberate in choosing friends. Actively seeking out friends means youre more likely to have people around you who energize you, make you laugh, and support you during difficult times.
Now that weve established the importance of being intentional about who your friends are, we can move on to the how part. Ive broken this next part into three sections to make it easier to navigate and review later.
So lets get to the first part: where to find friends.
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How To Meet People: 47 Best Places For Making New Friends
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Has a stroll through a park ever taken you down memory lane, compelling you to think about the times when you used to hang around with your friends? John from next door, Claire from school, or George who used to sit beside you on the school bus? You might think about these friends all the time.
When we move on from high school, the number of our friends starts decreasing. But even though we are not in touch with the people we befriended when we were children, we still have a group of enthusiastic teenagers who we call friends.
Then, college happens. Friends move to different schools, and we, too, move on with our lives and let the college get the better of us. At college, we find a few faithful friends and hope to stay in touch with them.
But then once we enter work life, we often slowly lose touch with almost all of our friends. Our lives now revolve around a series of deadlines and projects.
It is not that we have completely lost our friends. We tag each other on Facebook posts and share old pictures. But there is distance, work, and family between us and our friends.
It’s Okay To Reject People
Rejecting someone is hard. But it’s the best you can do if you don’t really like this person. In post-college life, dating is more serious than it was before. So, don’t waste time and better find someone who will be actually good for you.Read also: The Dos and Donts of Online DatingOkay, but to say honestly, no matter how much good advice about dating would you hear, nothing will help you more than your own experience. So men up and start meeting girls you like. And if you want to find your true love in just a few clicks, install Meetville app on Android and iOS right now and go on a date with local singles!
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