Pursue Activities You Enjoy
Maybe you love 19th-century literature, or maybe youâre psyched to start rock climbing. Whatever your passion, turn it into a hobby and find people with similar interests. Youâll up your chances of meeting a partner you actually get along with because youâll already have something in common.
That does not mean you should show up at book club assuming youâre going to meet your soul mate. âFocus on making friends, not on finding romance,â says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. , psychotherapist and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. âIf you make the friends, and there are enough people of the other gender, the dating will happen.â
CLICK HERE TO BUY ‘THE UNOFFICIAL GUIDE TO DATING AGAIN’
You Might Need Some Time To Get The Hang Of It
So you went on your first real, out-of-college date, and it sucked. As in, you spilled wine all over your skirt, snorted while you laughed, and accidentally talked for 15 minutes about the last guy you hooked up with. Donât beat yourself up.
Instead, remember that romance is a âlearning curve,â according to Peg Streep, an author who blogs about modern relationships and is writing a book about millennials. âThe more practice you have at it,â she says, âthe better you know yourself and your own responses and the better you are at judging whether or not the person youâre sitting with is actually someone you want to continue to see.â That said, cut the guy or girl who looks like he or she is about to pass out at the table some slack. Says Streep, âthe bad news is probably has just as little dating experience as you do.â
Youre Having Issues Making Her Feel Like The Only One
Women love to feel special, no doubt. So if you are talking with a girl and you can sense, see and feel she is losing interest in you, then you are about to be rejected.
Your job is to do your best to make certain she feels like your total attention is on her, nobody else.
When you learn the fine art of making a gal feel uniquely special, you WILL win. End of story my friend.
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Breaking The Ice With A Guy
The Guy All Your Friends Dated
This guy doesnt have a specific look, but the moment you see him, youll know right away who he is. Hes the guy your friends have all had something to do with, theyve started fights over him, but even though you all come back together at some point, he is still there lurking for his next chance to date your friends or even date you. Hes typically insecure and unsure of himself, and will only put himself out there to your friend group, not anyone else. This guy is literally the worst. This is the guy all your friends have hooked up with and you probably have too. He doesnt care about being in a relationship because he has commitment issues. He tries to turn you all against each other so you can all keep it a secret that you slept with him, but eventually it will all come out to the open and it will start another fight within the friend group. We would suggest maybe not even getting involved with him, EVER.
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Swipe Right: The Challenges Of Meeting Guys At A Womens College
As a student at a historically womens college, it should not come as a surprise that it has been hard to meet heterosexual men.
When I chose to attend Scripps College, friends and family pestered me with questions like Wont you miss having guys around? or How will you meet men? constantly. My answers to the questions always included a dramatic eye-roll and a well-rehearsed explanation of the benefits of the 5Cs.
I always assured them I would have plenty of male contact. After all, it wasnt the 1940s I was going to college to learn, not to settle down and find a husband who went to Pomona College.
As an English major who takes the majority of my classes at Scripps, there have been very few men in my classes. However, their limited presence has shaped my experience in those courses. It was like being back in high school I suddenly became self-conscious of how I was acting. I was more aware of how I spoke, dressed and even how I sat in my chair.
A study by Columbia University found that cisgender men are more likely to blurt out answers without raising their hands and also speak more frequently and longer in class discussions than other groups. Unfortunately, my academic experience so far has definitely echoed the results of the study.
Showing Interest In Him
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Reconnect With Old Friends
Maybe that guy you sat next to in 8th-grade math is more attractive or nicer now than he was back then. Social media is a great tool to use to find people that you used to know. From there, you can see whether or not the guy is in a relationship and get an idea of what hes like.
Snapchat and Instagram are some of the most used social platforms for people in the 18-24-year-old range. Because of this, you should be able to track down somebody you used to be friends with.
You might even get lucky and realize that one of your old friends or classmates is in one of your classes at college too!
Keep in mind that you should probably not revisit old enemies. Use your best judgment, but this likely wont work out in your favor. Try to find someone that had a neutral or positive influence on your life as opposed to a negative one.
Dont let a social media friendship replace the in-person interactions that you may want to have with someone. Online relationships and friendships often lack depth and dont give you a true idea of who someone is. They are great for making connections and rekindling old friendships though!
Where To Meet Him: Student Clubs And Off
You might be the shy type, or maybe youre not into the party scene on campus. Its still easy to meet guys thanks to student clubs, sports teams, and other extracurricular groups. Odds are that youll want to start writing for your college newspaper, or maybe youll want to try your hand at juggling either way, there are countless different groups for you to join, and freshman year is the perfect time to do so!
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Dating In College: 7 Simple Ways To Meet Guys
As fun and rewarding as college may be, it can also be insanely hard to balance school with a vibrant social life. Especially if youre a commuter. It can be even harder to make friends and meet cute guys. But even though it can be a little tricky, theres something to be said for having people your age at your fingertips for the next four years. Heres a couple ways to meet more guys on your campus.
Talk To Your Classmates
College can be a lonely place. But if you make time to get to know your classmates as well as the people living around you, it can be a very enriching experience. Dont be afraid to start some conversations with that cute guy who sits in front of you or start up a study group with some classmates. Even if you dont get a date out of it, at least youll have some people to get notes from.
Go To The Library
The library is the perfect place to meet a studious, academically-driven guy! You can get your school work done and scour the library for potential hotties. Dont be afraid to start up a conversation with the cute guy sitting beside you.
Visit Your Coffee Shop/Student Lounge
Stop by the coffee shop in the student lounge before your next class, and take a minute to notice your surroundings. If you see a cute guy whos sitting on his own, ask him what hes studying or be bold and order him a drink! It just might be the start of an interesting conversation.
Join A Sorority
Check Out Community Events
Get A Job
Travel
Featured Image via Pexels
Find Some Common Ground
The easiest way to meet someone in college is to just get out there! Participating in activities outside of class is the simplest and most effective method. Even if it isnât in your major or something youâre particularly good at, you may find a match just for showing up.
For example, if you love playing badminton, join an intramural team with the rest of the cute girls and guys. Passionate about volunteering? Start a community group for your soulmate to sign on to.
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Blockquotes Images And Video All In One Place Instead Of Having To Add And
format them individually. Just double-click and easily create content.
Static and dynamic content editing
A rich text element can be used with static or dynamic content. For static content, just drop it into any page and begin editing. For dynamic content, add a rich text field to any collection and then connect a rich text element to that field in the settings panel. Voila!
How to customize formatting for each rich text
Headings, paragraphs, blockquotes, figures, images, and figure captions can all be styled after a class is added to the rich text element using the “When inside of” nested selector system.
Headings, paragraphs, blockquotes, figures, images, and figure captions can all be styled after a class is added to the rich text element using the “When inside of” nested selector system.
Headings, paragraphs, blockquotes, figures, images, and figure captions can all be styled after a class is added to the rich text element using the “When inside of” nested selector system.
- after a class is added to the rich text element using the “When inside of” nested selector system.
- after a class is added to the rich text element using the “When inside of” nested selector system.
Headings, paragraphs, blockquotes, figures, images, and figure captions can all be styled after a class is added to the rich text element using the “When inside of” nested selector system.
Dare To Talk Politics
If you cant date someone whose political beliefs dont align with yours, figure it out now rather than later. Better to stick with global politics, though, since U.S. politics tend to be interesting these days, to say the least. Nataliya Dudar, a freshman at UT-Austin, listened to a painful but hilariously political pick-up line. This one guy walked up to me and said, Are you from Russia? Cuz youre Russian my heart rate. The kicker? It totally did not work because Im actually Ukrainian and theres the whole conflict going on right now, Dudar said. In the moment, I freaked out, but now I think its pretty funny.
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Its Fine If You End Up On An Accidate
If it didnât happen to you in college, itâs bound to occur at least once afterward. An âaccidateâ is an interaction between two friends thatâs actually a date, even though one or both people involved arenât aware. More than two-thirds of people between the ages of 18 and 59 say they arenât sure what defines a date â so donât be totally shocked if you go for drinks with your âbuddyâ from painting class and he or she tries to smooch you at the end.
Be Honest With Yourself And Potential Partners
Before you start dating around, itâs a good idea to figure out what you value in a partner and a relationship. That way you can avoid getting swept off your feet by someone who canât satisfy you in the long run. As Orlov puts it, âYou donât want to get too invested emotionally in someone who may still be wanting just to have fun if youâre looking for a more serious ⦠relationship.â According to Orlov, itâs appropriate to ask someone questions about what theyâre looking for by the third or fourth date.
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Hang Out In Places With High Guy
This usually means sporty, logical places to meet guys from your college. For example sports parks are a sure win. There are guys hanging out doing testosterone-filled stuff. That works to your advantage. First of all, there are no other sorority girls to compete with, so youll look like a supermodel just because of the odds. Secondly, their testosterone levels are up, so youll look like a supermodel anywayswin-win!
Great places to meet guys at college would be the Science or Computer lab- major chances there. Or try the math section in your campus library.
Online Dating Isnt For Desperate Losers
Everyone knows someone who met her husband/wife/life partner/cat-sitter on the Internet. Whereas online dating was once a somewhat laughable pursuit that folks were a little sheepish about, today more than 20 percent of 25- to 34-year-olds have tried it, and that number is only growing.
Sure, it might feel strange to browse photos of eligible people like theyâre boxes of cereal at the supermarket. But online dating is a way to simultaneously expand your options beyond friends of friends and narrow them down to people with specific interests, personality traits, or demographic characteristics you’re looking for. Worst-case scenario, youâll come out of it with some crowd-pleasing horror stories.
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How To Go From Acquaintance To Friend
Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.
Oscar Wilde
So youve gone out to some of the places above, and youve met some people. Ideally, youve chosen a place where you can encounter some of the same people over and over in order to build rapport. Maybe youve even exchanged phone numbers or added each other on Facebook.
Now that you have these weak ties , how do you take the relationship to a deeper level? How do you go from acquaintance to friend?
The answer, it turns out, is simple. Not necessarily easy, but definitely simple. Whats the secret? One-on-one time.
Hanging out in a group is lots of fun, but it can be difficult to spend enough time talking with one person to really open up to each other and get beyond surface level conversation. The best way to go from acquaintance to friend is to spend quality time talking and/or doing an activity together.
To make this easier, I suggest that you focus on cultivating one or two relationships at a time. Going out and meeting lots of people is a good idea to keep your social skills honed and broaden your network, but when it comes to making friends its best to keep it small. Especially if youre more introverted and find social interactions draining.
Tip: Pick an activity where you can actually talk to each other. So eating a meal together is better than seeing a movie, for example.